Scars
by Plunderer01
Summary: Looten Plunder and Hoggish Greedly discuss Plunder's relationship with a certain colleague. Rated T for language and innuendo.
1. Let's All Make Fun of Hoggish Greedly

"Plunder, forget this! I can't work under these conditions!" Hoggish Greedly flailed his arms angrily.

"What in the hell is the problem _now_?" Plunder snapped irritably. He had a migraine, and Greedly's voice was only amplifying the pounding in his head.

"She's nuts! I only suggested a very minor adjustment to one of the hovercraft, and she just about bit my head off!"

"That would be one hell of a bite," muttered Plunder under his breath. Greedly glared at him. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Look, she's probably PMSing. Just leave her alone."

"And how would _you_ know that?"

Looten massaged his temples with the tips of his fingers. "Trust me, I know. Boy, do I know."

Greedly stared at him.

"Are you two..._dating_?"

"Yes. And what rock have _you_ been living under again?" Plunder said sarcastically.

Greedly snorted loudly as he laughed. "I can't believe you put up with her long enough to work with her, let alone date her! How long has this been going on?"

"That's none of your business, Greedly."

"Aw, come on..."

"No!"

"Spill it."

"Why should I?"

Greedly grinned. He had him now. "Because if your relationship interferes with our schemes, then I wanna know so I don't waste my time and money investing in them."

"Damn you."

"Well...?"

"Fine! Two years." Plunder crossed his arms and pouted.

"And you've managed to survive?"

"Haha. That's_ really_ funny."

"Really, why do you put up with her?" Greedly inquired, genuinely curious.

Plunder blinked. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"Well, come to think of it, maybe you would. After all, you've put up with your wife for sixteen years. I couldn't _imagine_ doing that."

Greedly glared at him. "That was a low blow."

Plunder smiled wickedly.

"But my wife isn't completely batshit insane. And quit trying to avoid the question."

Plunder snorted in annoyance.

"Blight isn't insane. Well mostly not. And I like having an intelligent conversation, alright?"

"What else?" Greedly prodded him.

"Why do you even care?"

"Because I want to know why someone like you, a billionaire, could have almost anybody you want, but you go and choose someone like Blight."

"'Someone like Blight'? What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Plunder shot him an indignant look. "No, Greedly, I don't know what you mean. Please, elaborate."

Greedly rolled his eyes. "Fine. Like you need it spelled out, though."

The other man tapped his foot impatiently. "Well..?"

"For one, she's nuts. And I don't care what you say – she acts that way around everyone else. Heck, even when she's on her own, she acts crazy."

"What? How could you possibly know _that_?"

"MAL."

"You've been talking to MAL." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Sort of. He strikes up conversations. It's kind of creepy."

"Fine. What does MAL tell you?"

"He says her behaviors are 'illogical' and 'random', and that she throws stuff at him when she's angry."

Plunder now felt his headache pulsating somewhere behind his eyes.

"Greedly, your _wife_ throws things at you when she's angry. And, if I might add, it's quite humorous."

"What about the illogical stuff?"

Looten placed his hand over his eyes in both exasperation and to block out the light feeding his migraine.

"MAL is a computer. He thinks _anything_ humans do is illogical and random. He cannot even begin comprehend what a mood swing is. Hell, he doesn't really understand anger. Most likely he pissed her off by saying something 'helpful' and she threw a beaker at him or something. So consider anything MAL says as BS."

"What about when she's _not_ alone?"

"Seriously Greedly, I think you're confusing 'insane' with 'a personality'. And you mean to tell me you've never had a mood swing before? In your _entire_ life?"

"But what about the maniacal laughter?"

"Hey, she enjoys her work. We've all done it at some point. I certainly know _you_ have."

"And the crazy, incredibly dangerous inventions with no applicable function outside of building it because she can?"

"Considering that you once thought hovering around residential areas in a pig-shaped, tree-sucking flying saucer was a good idea, I don't think you have any room to talk."

"I was drunk!"

"Not according to Rigger."

"Whatever. Now to my next point."

"I can't wait."


	2. Issues

Greedly threw his arms up in semi-defeat.

"Okay, so you've half-way convinced me that she's not crazy. Fine. So, even with that in mind, how do you put up with her personality? You know..." he trailed off.

Plunder smirked. "You mean, her grandiose ideas?"

"Yes."

"Tenaciously pursuing a desired goal?"

"Yeah..."

"Throwing a fit when things don't go her way?"

"Hey, just what are you getting at?"

Looten made a sweeping gesture with his arm. "Now exactly who am I describing, you, Blight, or Zarm?"

"I don't see you dating Zarm. Or me."

Plunder shuddered a little at the thought.

Greedly shook his head. "You amaze me, Plunder. You're _really _dodging the question. The only things you've managed to point out convincingly is that we all share personality traits and that MAL is a poor judge of character. Is that the best you can do?"

Plunder sighed and sat on a nearby chair. That was uncharacteristically observant of Greedly, although he wasn't going to tell him _that_. And he needed to take something for his headache soon, or he was going to be miserable all evening.

Unfortunately, there were only two ways out of this conversation. He _could_ be truthful, which he'd rather not be considering that most of this wasn't Greedly's business in the first place. Or he could lie, something he was very good at doing, but he doubted he'd successful at this point due to the pounding in his head.

"We have a lot in common."

Greedly did a double take. "Wha-whaat? You're kidding, right?"

"No."

"Looten. Seriously."

Plunder raised an eyebrow at that. Greedly rarely addressed him by his first name, and when he did, it was often a precursor to some form of sincerity. Plunder and Greedly were not particularly good friends, but they both had known each other for years and pretty well at that. Plunder had been acquainted with Greedly long before he had been introduced to Blight, a little ironically by Greedly himself. So while there probably was a selfish interest behind his desire to know this information, Greedly wasn't _completely_ lacking in a bit of altruism.

"You both are as different as you can get."

"Once again, please elaborate." Looten felt tired.

"Look. I've known you for a very long time, Looten. Your operations are profit-oriented. They make actual sense for the most part. You're usually calm and collected and you're not prone to random outbursts. Heck, even your maniacal laughter sounds normal. Now take Blight. She's brilliant, yes. And sometimes she can even be fun to work with. But she's like a polar opposite to you, man. Her schemes, at least when she works alone, have no end goal besides doing something to see if she _can_. Remember the molecular duplicator incident you told me about? Making evil opposites of the Planeteer's rings? What kind of person does that? Not a sane one. Or a stable one."

Plunder clenched his fists a little, willing himself to remain calm. Greedly was a frequent business partner after all, and Plunder didn't want to drive him away with an unprofessional show of anger. He really ought to be used to inquiries like this by now anyway, as past snide remarks from some non Eco-villain associates could attest to. He continued calmly.

"Yes, you're right. She _is_ brilliant. As a matter of fact, she is _beyond_ brilliant, and what she creates makes no sense to you because you cannot possibly comprehend the science behind it. I certainly can't, and most of the top scientists in the _world_ can't. She had to dumb down the scientific terminology behind the molecular duplicator. At least for Sludge. Heh." Plunder couldn't help but throw in a stab at that moron.

"Heh. Yeah, screw that guy. What a jerk."

"But as I was saying, she used those terms to get us to somewhat grasp what was actually being done. Besides her, I think only Nukem could have possibly understood the physics behind it, but he's not a genius. At least not anymore. Granted the wording was pretty elementary, but none of us cared at that point."

"She must think you're pretty unintelligent then."

"The vast majority of people on the planet are idiots compared to her. _Think_ about it. But she's never maliciously ridiculed me over it." He shrugged. "And also, I might add, you accused her of instability due to your _own_ ignorance."

Greedly was silent for a moment. Plunder felt a little less angry.

"Point taken."

He paused, gearing himself up for his next remark. "But isn't that just a stronger argument against any possible compatibility you two might have? If she's so smart..."

Plunder looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he laughed. "I think there's a more appropriate question here."

"Such as?"

"If she's such a genius, and could have anybody she wanted, why in the hell did she choose _me_?"


	3. Money and Power

Greedly smirked. "Great question." Plunder rolled his eyes.

"But really Looten, you _do_ have a few redeeming qualities that would probably make you desirable to women."

"I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, here..." Looten leaned back in his chair.

"For one, you're rich."

Plunder must have shot him a more extreme look than he intended, because Greedly seemed surprised at his reaction.

"Well, what's wrong with that? It's_ true_."

"Yes, it's true. I _know_ that's true. And it's also a double-edged sword, Greedly."

"How?"

"Why did your wife marry you?" Plunder decided to turn the tables a bit.

"That's a little personal. But I know what you're getting at, and it wasn't because of money. She had her own wealth coming into the marriage. She _is_ a nuclear pharmacist with her own company, after all. She makes a lot of money."

"Regardless, she's not a gold-digger. She didn't marry you because of it, and despite the several problems I suspect you two have, it's somewhat comforting that wasn't the reason, correct?"

"Yes," Greedly admitted.

"Well, no offense, but I think I'm at least ten times richer than you. So as you can imagine, I've had my share of women throwing themselves at me, only for the virtue of my bank account. That's not what I want. I don't think that's what _anybody_ wants. It's fake. It's also a little demeaning. They don't like me. They like my money."

Greedly nodded. "But how do you know that's not the case with Blight? She's a scientist. She's not into business. And scientists usually need a source of funding to do whatever it is that they do."

"She remains solvent enough. You order a lot of machinery from her, remember? Heck, I do as well. And you know she charges quite a bit. So she has her own wealth as it were, from her own efforts. So I'm not very concerned with that problem with her."

He paused.

"Plus, in my experience, I can _tell_ if that's the case. I can spot those behaviors a mile away, and Dr. Blight has never exhibited those in the almost nine years that I've know and worked with her."

"Because she's nuts." Greedly grinned, not able to help it.

"Oh, shut up."

"Haha. Okay, next 'redeeming' quality." 

"Oh boy." Plunder stretched a little in his chair. His headache was feeling better, at least.

"Power."

"Power?" Looten was a little surprised at that acknowledgment from his partner.

"Some women _do_ find that attractive, you know."

"Hm. I suppose."

"So..?"

"Well, I guess I haven't had many negative experiences because of that. That's a little more subtle, I guess. Hell, I don't really know if that's ever happened. I can't tell. Not that I've thought about it much."

"What about Blight?"

"I don't know. At this point, I don't think it's much of a factor, if it was at all." Plunder admitted.

"Okay, and now for your last redeeming quality."

"Hey, I only get three?"

"I'm really reaching as it is."

"Well, two more than you I guess."

"That's hilarious."

"I know."


	4. Drive

"And just so you know, I haven't forgotten about our _other _topic."

"Fantastic." Plunder said drolly.

Greedly leaned against the wall. It was going to be very hard for him to say the next thing, not really wanting to stoke Plunder's already high opinion of himself. But he had come this far, and he might as well finish it. Plus, he had a foolproof way to make it look like he wasn't really thinking it in the first place.

"My wife says you're attractive." he said nonchalantly.

Plunder stared at him. Then he threw back his head and laughed.

"What?" He choked out.

"You heard me."

"I'll bet that was hard to admit."

"I said my _wife_ thought that. Not like _I_ would know."

"I'd guess not." Plunder shook his head, still chuckling. "I can't believe you said that."

"Evidently, it's true."

"My foot. You used your wife as an excuse for that one. And you know it."

Greedly shrugged. There was no way in hell he was going to admit to that.

Plunder grinned. "I can agree with that quality."

"Of course you would. Egotistical maniac."

"_You_ brought it up. I didn't."

"Whatever." Greedly wanted to drop the subject now, as Plunder had reacted exactly as he thought he would.

Plunder crossed his arms and leaned back again in his chair. "Do continue."

"Well, that's it for compliments."

"Oh, darn."

"Now, back to compatibility."

Plunder groaned. "Why _are_ you so obsessed with that?"

"Like I said, legitimate business concern." Greedly countered.

"Bullshit." Looten scoffed, although not very vehemently.

"Heh. Well, anyway. Back to her intelligence, since you seem to value that so much. You cannot tell me you don't have a professional reason for admiring that."

"Yeah, sure I do. You know about that just as much as I do."

"I suppose."

"You introduced us. I needed an engineer for those hovercraft I used during that ivory operation in Africa. You had previously hired her to build that moving oil rig, which Captain Planet destroyed, if I remember correctly."

"Meh...yeah. Fine piece of engineering though."

"Yes, hence the recommendation."

"What's your point?"

"The point is that yes I had, and still do to a degree, an interest in her skills for professional reasons. I'm not going to lie about that."

"But do you feel threatened by that?"

"Threatened...?"

"Yeah. Since she's so much smarter than you, isn't that intimidating?"

"Your wife is smarter than you. Doesn't she have a doctorate?"

"Yes, she does, and seriously stop using my wife as an example. We're talking about _you_, not me."

"Hey, just trying to be able to relate. Fine, I'll drop it."

"So what's your answer?"

Plunder was quiet for a minute.

"I was a little at first." He admitted.

"And now?"

"And now, not really. Look, as an example, I hired Bleak because he is very good at what he does; I can't fly a helicopter, I don't know how to fire anti-aircraft guns, I haven't the first clue on how to effectively defend myself short of carrying a firearm. That's why he's there, because he can do the things I can't. Initially, that's why I hired Blight for various projects. She's very good at what she does, and I'm better at running an international conglomerate than she is. We're all good at our particular niche. After awhile, I came to appreciate that strength rather than to let it frighten me."

"But what about personally?"

"Nope. It just doesn't come up. Not that I mind the more science-oriented discussions we've had - I think she likes to teach. I just accept the fact she's a lot smarter than me, and always will be, although I know more about other subjects than she does. And she knows that, and really doesn't care either."

"Okay. I can get that. But what about her goals? Like not really profiting off of things when she goes solo, but just doing them to see if it works?"

"Hell, what do you think science _is_? You don't advance without some kind of experimentation. She is a scientist, and like most scientists, has that drive to discover things. She just does it...in a much more unorthodox and sometimes unethical fashion. Unfortunately, that's what has ostracized her from the general scientific and academic community." He said a little bitterly. He paused.

"And in a sense we have the same goals and the same methods." Plunder added.

"Uh, how?" Greedly could not possibly imagine how.

"My methods in business are generally unorthodox compared to some of my other business associates. Not all of them of course, but a _lot_ of them. And while my drive is primarily for profit, it's also to see if I can. I _want_ to see what crazy business models work. That gives me an edge, and an advantage."

"For what then, if not for profit?"

"Because I want to see how far _I_ can go."


	5. Everybody Hates Sly Sludge

"So, as you can see, we _do_ have something in common."

"Yeah..." Greedly trailed off.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"No, I believe you."

Plunder frowned. "So, what's the problem?"

Greedly cleared his throat. "It doesn't seem to be enough."

"Not...enough?"

"Yeah. That's only one thing you have in common so far. And while you both are apparently content with the intimidation issue, that doesn't exactly count as 'something in common'."

"That's a fair point."

"Well?"

Plunder thought for a moment.

"We both hate Sly Sludge."

Greedly laughed. "I think we _all_ hate Sludge. I certainly do."

Looten scowled a little. "I once lost quite a bit of money because of that idiot."

"How much?"

"Almost four million."

Greedly whistled. "I would have killed him."

"I definitely wanted to. Heck, Bleak was right next to me. I should have said something."

"Would you have really killed him?"

Plunder made a waving motion with his hands. "Nah, but I'd just probably had his knees broken."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, well, he owes Blight one million. Directly."

Greedly raised both his eyebrows in surprise. "I didn't know that! Has she tried to collect?"

"No, although I've offered to assist with the aforementioned knee-breaking."

"Why not?"

Plunder shrugged. "She has her reasons, but the main one is so she doesn't have to deal with him anymore. He avoids her like the plague because he owes her so much money. And she's fine with that."

"I'd be fine with that too. That man is such an incredible jerk."

"Indeed."

"But that aside, what else?"

"I'm only going to continue if you count that."

"Fine, whatever!" Greedly sounded a little exasperated.

Looten suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. It wasn't the headache; that was basically gone. It was the prospect of discussing the next thing he and Blight shared in common. While she could possibly capitalize on such a reputation, it was a little taboo in his social circles and potentially damaging to his operations if it became common knowledge. Plunder knew he was banking heavily on the fact that Greedly had never blabbed about sensitive information before, and he hoped he wouldn't start now.

He loosened his tie.

"We both, ah, have the same interesting ideas of what 'fun' is."

Greedly stared, not sure what to make of that statement.

"What?" he finally squawked.

"Uh, yeah."

"What in the hell does that even _mean_?"

Plunder fidgeted a little in his seat.

"Looten..." Greedly prompted him.

"We both like doing crazy things, okay?" Plunder blurted out.

Greedly laughed again. "And here you had me convinced she _wasn't _crazy! So now _you're _admitting to it too?"

"No, that's not what I meant!"

"But you just said..."

"I said we both like doing crazy things for fun, not that we were _actually_ crazy!"

"What's the difference?" Greedly had deteriorated into a snorting laugh.

Plunder just glared at him. "You know what? Never mind. Let's just drop it."

"Aw come on! I was just joking!"

"The hell you were."

"Come on! Tell me!"

"Fine, but only if you drop the snide comments. I'm trying to be serious here."

"Okay, okay."

Plunder sucked in a deep breath. This was hard enough for him to quantify to himself, let alone to someone else. It was a secret bit of looniness that he was rarely able to express comfortably around anybody, except when he was with Dr. Blight. Her sense of fun and bravado was something he found not only attractive but personally enjoyable; he felt less constrained in his role as a corporate suit and more like himself. It was a trait that he worked hard to keep hidden for the sake of his business, as most people would shy away from investing in an operation headed by someone who might engage in such nonsensical activities.

"Let me start with an example."

Greedly nodded.

"Remember when I got that whaling permit?"

"Yes."

"It was pretty successful, for awhile at least."

"Yeah, then the Planeteers came along and ruined it."

"You know, technically I didn't do anything illegal. The Japanese whale all the time under research pretenses and are allowed to sell the meat. I did no different, so the confiscation of my ship was actually illegal. I'm still battling with their court system over that. But I digress."

"You have really bad luck with boats, it seems."

"Ugh. Don't remind me. That four hundred million dollar loss with the aircraft carrier really hurt."

"I'll bet."

"But anyway, Blight went along with me on the whaling thing."

"Heh, so I've heard..."

Plunder raised an eyebrow. "And what's _that_ supposed to mean, exactly?"

Greedly grinned. "You can't tell me that _all_ you did was whaling. Alone, out in the middle of the ocean like that..."

Plunder smirked. "You can think whatever you want."

"No problem."

"But _anyway_, as I was saying, despite what you _think_ happened, we actually did do some whaling. And it was a lot of fun, at least for me. Sometimes I like to participate in my own schemes."

"Okay, so what does this have to do with Blight?"

"She loved it. She was having an absolute blast hunting whales. It was like the ultimate deep-sea fishing trip."

"While that's great, she is an 'Eco-villain' like the rest of us, so that doesn't particularly surprise me."

"Yeah, but she was so into it that she made special harpoons. She said the regular ones weren't good enough."

"That's Dr. Blight for you."

"True, but seriously Greedly, how many women flat-out enjoy _whaling_? How many women love to invent things to _improve_ the fun factor behind it? How do you even _find_ someone like that?"

Greedly thought for a moment. "Good point."

"Now, you or I wouldn't find that particularly crazy, but really, its outside the norm to enjoy something like whaling. I don't think the gold-digging opportunists that I've known would have _ever_ gone for that. You don't take that lightly, you know."

"Okay, I'll add that to the list of 'crazy-ass things in common'."

"Gee, thanks."


	6. Research

"Well, I will say I'm more convinced over the compatibility thing. So I got one last question for you, and then I gotta get home before my wife completely flips her shit." Greedly said in a depressed tone.

Plunder started snickering, but quickly stopped when Greedly gave him a rather severe look.

"Well, spit it out then." Plunder shut his eyes as he relaxed a bit in his chair.

"I'm gonna admit this one is a little shallow..."

Plunder opened one eye suspiciously. He had an idea where Greedly was going with this, and he didn't think he'd care for it much.

Greedly frowned for a second before speaking.

"Her face..."

"What about it?" Plunder said in a dangerously neutral voice.

"Why doesn't she fix it?"

"Why doesn't she fix it." Looten repeated flatly. He opened both his eyes and tilted his head up, staring at the ceiling. He was silent for a while.

Greedly sighed. "Look, I know she had an accident that caused it, and I know it wasn't her fault. Fine. But it's been nine years. Can't she go see a plastic surgeon or something?"

Plunder continued to stare at the ceiling, unblinking.

"Jesus, never mind then." Greedly turned to go.

Plunder stood up.

"You want to know why?"

Greedly stopped. "Yes."

"There isn't a single doctor in the world that can fix those scars."

He looked surprised. "So she's looked into it then?"

"She didn't have to."

Greedly furrowed his brow, not quite understanding.

Plunder sighed. He wasn't going to explain. If Greedly couldn't figure it out, then that was _his _problem.

"Look, keep this conversation to yourself, alright?"

Hoggish Greedly smiled somewhat bitterly.

"Who would I tell?"

Then he left.

* * *

Plunder stepped out into the dim hallway.

He honestly doubted that Greedly would tell anyone, as his rather acrimonious response indicated. Looten had detected an undercurrent of jealousy in the other man throughout the majority of their conversation, and knowing Greedly, that was something he'd rather not share. He knew his and Blight's relationship had a very different foundation than Greedly's relationship with his wife, and that was something Plunder knew that Greedly regretted. But he was stubborn; Hoggish would never admit to that, and he honestly thought that if he lied to himself often enough, than he would actually believe it and be happy in his marriage.

It was one of the few times Looten Plunder genuinely felt sorry for somebody.

Plunder took a few more steps into the darkness and paused. He shifted his gaze to the left and smiled wryly.

"How long have you been listening?"

"Long enough." She purred.

"Did I do an adequate job?"

"Oh, _yes_..." Dr. Blight silently wrapped her arms around him from behind. "It was quite adequate. And a bit enlightening."

"Oh?"

She shifted around to face him and pulled his tie down, causing him to lean over a little. Twirling the tip of his ponytail affectionately with her fingers, she grinned.

"I think we should discuss this further in my lab."

"Research?"

"Lots of it."


End file.
